5 things you need to know to help your baby fall asleep.

Baby's sleep is a sensitive subject for many parents. It's not always easy to know how best to help.

And at Monti family, we're well aware that a baby who sleeps well means parents who are more rested, and inevitably more available for him during the day. So, to help you with this sometimes delicate question of sleep, we suggest you discover 5 tips to help your baby fall asleep gently.

1 Understand why sleep and falling asleep can be complicated for babies.

First and foremost, we feel it's important to go back over a few points that highlight the sensitivity of the subject of sleep.

First of all, you need to know that a baby's cycle is not at all the same as that of an adult. A child's cycles are shorter than ours, and they don't follow exactly the same sequence.

This is why babies need naps during the day, for example, and why their nights may be shorter than those of adults. Now that this physiological point has been addressed, let's look at the emotional aspect that also lies behind sleep... and which also poses its share of problems!

For a toddler, sleep is synonymous with both physical and psychological separation. When your child goes to bed and falls asleep, he will be separated from you. He won't be able to see you. He won't be able to hear or smell you. And for him, this can be very distressing... Especially if your child is only a few months old.

Indeed, when babies are born, they don't see themselves as separate from their mothers. They think they're one with her. This makes them feel secure. Later, around 7/8 months, the child understands that his body is unique. And that his parents are distinct from him.

This can be terribly distressing. He'll wonder if you're still alive when he can't see you, for example. That's why some children experience periods of stress and crying during separations around 7/10 months. But this will also crystallize around sleep.

When he falls asleep, baby is detached from you, both physically (you're no longer in front of his eyes) and psychologically (are we going to see each other again?).

That's why it can sometimes be so difficult for your child to fall asleep... and why he needs you, your presence, to help him drift off into the arms of Morpheus...

2How can I gently help someone fall asleep? 

Now that we've outlined why it can be so complicated for your child to fall asleep, let's look at what you can do to help on a daily basis. Before presenting our 5 tips, we'd like to make it clear that sleep is an event that is experienced and evolves, and that as such, it can be subject to fluctuations and regressions.

• Tip N°1: Know how to observe your baby's signs of fatigue. 

It's often said that a baby who's tired is a baby who'll rub his eyes or become more "grumpy". But what if these aren't your baby's signs? Or if there were others beforehand that would enable you to respond earlier to his needs? These are questions you need to ask yourself. There's all the theory and generalizations you can make about all children...

And then there's your child, your baby, who is unique. As such, the way he expresses himself will be unique. As parents, you're the ones best placed to observe your baby and understand what he's saying to you, because you know him best. So observe your baby.

Look to see if there are any things he's always doing that might show you how tired he is? Of course, these signs may change over time, but they will help you to respond to your baby's needs on a daily basis. Your baby's sleeping patterns change almost daily.

What may have been true yesterday may not be true today or tomorrow. In this sense, observe your child and do it every day. If you put him to bed at the right time, he's more likely to fall asleep peacefully.

• Tip N°2: Establish as many routines as possible for a peaceful night's sleep. 

Babies don't have the same notion of time as we do. What's more, they don't have the same ability to anticipate as we do as adults.

For example, it's much harder for them to understand "you'll go to bed in 10 minutes" than "you'll go to bed after the story". They need tangible, palpable cues.

That's why we advise you to set up rituals before putting your baby to bed. We also encourage you to try and keep to this routine as much as possible, every day.

If you're going on vacation or entrusting your child to your care for the night, make sure you keep to his or her routine as much as possible.

By having routines, your child can prepare himself mentally for the night ahead. He knows, through repetition, that after the bath, there's the story, and after the story, there's going to bed... and that in the morning, you'll be there to take care of him. The repetition of these positive experiences will be very reassuring for him.

That's why we recommend that you make the last few moments before falling asleep as routine as possible, whether through a story, a ritual, a song... The choice is yours!

• Tip No. 3: The importance of a cuddly toy. 

As we explained in the first point of this article, at the beginning of life, your baby is not aware that he's an individual in his own right.

It's something he'll experiment with and build up over the months. The cuddly toy or the little ritual he does to reassure himself (such as stroking himself between the eyes or touching his earlobe) will help him to calm down. It creates a bridge, like a bond, between you and him.

And your child will invest this object or ritual, especially when you're separated. It will occupy space and time until your reunion. In this way, and knowing the importance of a cuddly toy when you're separated (like at night), make sure you leave him his own at all times. Even when you're not apart!

It's really important for him to get attached to it, and to imbibe your scent too. To avoid any drama linked to possible loss, we advise you to have several spare ones and why not alternate between them so that they all wear out in the same way.

However, it's not uncommon for children to be attached to a particular comforter (even if the others are exactly the same). They're as emotionally attached to what it represents as they are to the smell it carries, or the little mark or seam flaw it may have here or there. In short, the cuddly toy is really your ally when it comes to falling asleep, so don't hesitate to leave it around as much as possible! 

• Tip N°4: An environment conducive to peaceful sleep. 

The environment in which your child evolves is just as important as what surrounds the moment of falling asleep. That's why we advise you to invest in your child's bedroom outside of sleep time.

If your baby only goes to his room to sleep, it's more likely to be associated with separation. So it's bound to be harder for him to fall asleep peacefully.

If you spend quality time playing together in this space, it will take on a whole new dimension.

At the same time, giving him a floor bed will enable him to rest when he feels the need. He'll then be autonomous and can decide to go when it's the right time for him. In fact, this is what Maria Montessori advocated. Having a bed on the floor allows children to listen to their own rhythm, and eliminates many of the conflicts and anxieties surrounding falling asleep.

Your child won't have to depend on you to get out of bed (unlike cots with bars, which can give the feeling of being locked in). At Monti family, we offer different types of floor beds. Take a look at our selection.

Once you've found the perfect match for your home, make sure you remove all potential hazards from your child's room. If he can go to bed on his own, he can also get up on his own and go about his business. Check that everything is secure!

• Tip N°5: Take advantage of a return to calm before falling asleep.

When it's time for bed, your child needs to be in a serene, tranquil state. Just like you: before going to bed, your child needs to return to a state of calm. So choose activities that are calming.

If your child needs to express his emotions, scream or run, offer him this opportunity beforehand. When it's time to go to sleep, opt for gentle activities.

For example, we recommend a massage. This helps to contain your child emotionally as well as physically, which is particularly important given the separation that sleep represents for him.

You can also choose a soothing story. In this sense, avoid all scary monster stories before bedtime. Make sure you create a reassuring, soothing environment so he can fall asleep with confidence. 

We hope these tips will help you create a little cocoon conducive to a peaceful night's sleep. If you have any other ideas or tips, let us know in the comments!