As adults, we naturally set goals throughout our lives, realizing that achieving a goal is an effective way of improving ourselves.
Children also set goals, but they do so naturally as part of their growth process. Children call goals "dreams": these "dreams" enable them to gain self-confidenceto start defining themselves outside parental norms and expectations, and to challenge themselves.
Maria Montessori described "these dreams" as a vital force present in every individual, guiding them towards their own evolution.
Setting objectives involves these three key points:
1. set achievable, realistic goals.
Take the time to help your child define his or her goal realistically, limiting it to a sentence or two and, above all, making it achievable. When a child of any age, from primary school to adolescence, is able to identify a goal, create steps to reach it and successfully achieve it, then that child also acquires a heightened sense of self-efficacy. This results in a sense of control over one's direction, impact and role in the world, and a naturally heightened sense of self-confidence.
2 Allow your child to set goals that will shape his or her identity.
As children grow up and master the basics of setting achievable goals, these goals help them make the transition from childhood to adulthood. They also enable them to look beyond their childhood and their parents' expectations, and shape their own identity. Start setting goals with your child early on, and help them plan their dreams for the future.
3.support them on their journey to fulfill their dreams.
The goals chosen by children can sometimes be difficult for parents to understand, as they may differ from family and societal traditions or norms. A child may decide to walk long distances, take up a new hobby or go to an institution that is not what parents had planned or imagined for them. When your child's goal is contrary to what you would have chosen for them, understand that the confidence you are giving them is beneficial for their development. This is a normal stage and, although it may be difficult for you, allowing your child to create their own identity, provided the goals are healthy and positive, is the role you must now adopt.
Children's goals are not only a challenge for parents, but also for children. A goal, by its very nature, should be defined to be somewhat beyond the individual's current state. This should instill in the child a willingness to change, and change doesn't come easily for anyone. When a child is able to overcome an obstacle, persevere, or has to create another plan to reach his or her goal, he or she learns critical processes for success in all areas.
Goal-related challenges come in many forms, some more manageable and less poignant than others. The magnitude of the challenge will bring out this level of determination in the child; at this stage, the child needs to put in extra effort, overcome current mindsets and "go the extra mile" to achieve the goal. For this reason, children particularly need parents' support in these difficult times. Posting the written goal, reminding your child of the expected end result and verbally commenting on progress are all ways in which parents can provide invaluable help during the difficult stages of achieving a goal.
As your family reflects on the past year and looks ahead to opportunities for growth in 2019, champion the goals set by your children. Invest in their self-improvement process as well as your own. The sense of community and support your child feels from you early in the process will give them added motivation to succeed. Goals are set for the purpose of self-improvement, and sharing that purpose among your household members is one of the family's most precious treasures.
Previous article