When Mom's good, everything's good! The same goes for Dad. In short, as we all know, our state of mind is directly linked to our children, our little sponges. 

If you're a zen, mega-cool parent who doesn't know parental stress, congratulations, you can leave the page! On the other hand, if, like us, you put yourself under a little too much pressure and are more of the stressed-out, perfectionist or hyper-controlled type, sit down - we've got a lot to talk about.

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Where does your anxiety come from?

When you become a parent, your personal life takes on a whole new dimension. Between caring for baby, shopping, eating, medical appointments, homework, hobbies and work... you can quickly feel overwhelmed, even oppressed. You've probably already heard of mental workload. So how can you relieve your anxiety and stress as a parent? Here are a few ideas.

Make a list of your priorities to reduce parental stress 

Write down a list of what's really important to you, limiting yourself to a maximum of 8 points. Becoming aware of what's essential to you will free you from what isn't, and so reduce your stress levels.

Treat yourself to 15 minutes in the morning: anti-stress guaranteed!

A stressful start to the day, with breakfast to prepare, children to wake up, drinking cold coffee and being interrupted every 5 minutes because your child needs help... Mornings are often stressful, with the fear of being late. 

Get up 15 or 30 minutes earlier! Give yourself time to get ready, or enjoy a cup of hot coffee while admiring the dawn in the early morning silence...

In short, choose what will fill your emotional tank for YOU before waking your children. Then you'll be 100% available for them, and you'll feel much more serene!

Set aside some time to recharge your batteries

It's absolutely essential to give yourself a little time, just for you. This space-time will enable you to rediscover the feeling of freedom and lightness that's so enjoyable! You'll be all the more serene and available when you return home.

Dare to ask those around you for help

If you have an outside appointment or simply need to get some fresh air, don't hesitate to ask grandparents, family or friends to look after baby during his nap, or even for an evening. If you're geographically far from your loved ones, there are baby-sitting websites, but you can also enroll your baby in the nursery on a one-off basis, one afternoon a week for example. 

Find your organization to lighten the mental load

Parenting stress is often, very often, associated with time. Getting organized takes a bit of time, but it's an excellent investment, since it will save you time in the long run!

You've got too much on your plate, you think too much, all the time, and never have a minute's respite? The good news is that you're not alone! The mental burden weighs heavily on many of us. Let's find out how to lighten the load with a few parenting tools.

Uses a paper or electronic diary

It's THE best friend of many a busy parent!

You can use a paper diary or an electronic diary, possibly linked to your computer and shared with your partner. In this way, you can plan everything that needs to be planned, so as to take the pressure off your mind: medical appointments, school and nursery appointments, family events and celebrations, errands, chores, etc.

You'll also note things to remember, like birthdays or the Montessori workshop you've signed up for next Saturday.

Keep lists

Reducing stress requires good organization. 

Keeping lists will lighten your mental load. Shopping lists, pharmacy lists, to-do lists, etc. free your mind by writing down the things you think of as you go along. 

Plan your meals

Preparing meals is a time-consuming and stressful process. You can use a meal planner to avoid the stress of lack of inspiration. Give yourself a moment each week to think about the menus, it will free your mind. 

Another option is batch cooking, which involves preparing several meals in advance, in a single cooking session lasting around 3 hours.

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Module 1 of our Monti Academy training course is dedicated to parents!

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Set up relaxation exercises

Relieve your anxiety and stress as a parent by practicing relaxation exercises. Now's the time to try cardiac coherence, meditation or yoga. 

• Cardiac coherence is a relaxation exercise based on slow, deep breathing, which helps relieve stress.
• Yoga realigns body and mind. It is a source of peace.
• Meditation teaches teaches you to find an inner refuge. It provides relaxation and escape.

It's up to you to find the one that's right for you! There's plenty to choose from, and many applications and videos available free of charge!

Accept that not everything is perfect

And finally, the ultimate thing to keep in mind at every moment of your parenting life: 

Perfection doesn't exist!

Our expectations are sometimes very high, and add a good dose of unnecessary stress! We can't help it, we aspire to perfection, we aim for the perfect family, the fulfilling job, the conflict-free couple and the sparkling home, even with 3 children. Let's change our outlook and get back to basics. These injunctions have no place and generate far too much anxiety.

After all, what does happiness mean to you? Maybe it's time to let go of some things, and you'll be all the more relaxed - and so will your children! 

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Further reading :

Faber and Mazlish's Fulfilling Parents, Fulfilling Children