More Choice, Less Discipline.

In the traditional educational system, establishing discipline with a child usually includes a method of punishment or reward to enable the child to do what the adult wants. Most often, this creates a situation of temporary compliance. By punishing or rewarding behavior alone, no internal control is developed in the child. What happens when the parent's external control is no longer there? Can thechild control himself when a parent is not there to punish or reward him?

WHAT IF IT COULD BE DIFFERENT? WHAT IF DISCIPLINE WAS THE RESULT OF A CHILD LEARNING TO DECIDE FOR HIMSELF TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE?

It is possible! So, how can we guide a child towards self-discipline? The Montessori philosophy of education capitalizes on children's ability to make good choices for themselves. The aim of this philosophy is to help children become independent, caring and autonomous human beings. Weneed to think about the language we use with children, and help them learn responsibility from an early age. Maria Montessori, the founder of the pedagogy, said: "Discipline evolves: it's not automatic."

Tools to consider to find the perfect Discipline balance:

• If a child asks a question to which you'd say yes, say "It's up to you" instead. This helps them feel capable of making a good decision on their own!
• Give children a choice of answers that are acceptable to you. "Do you want to work on your math or your spelling first?" This limits the options for children who aren't yet able to make the right choices on their own.
• Help children realize that everything is a choice and that these choices all have consequences. Use language like: "When you choose to throw away these games and ruin them, you're choosing not to be able to use them anymore. You can decide to make a different, better choice for yourself." This type of communication gives children a sense of responsibility for their choices. You're not giving them a punishment, you're allowing them to make a choice freely!

The Montessori philosophy says "freedom = responsibility".

When children choose to be responsible at home, they choose to have the freedom and opportunity to thrive!

Author Amy Chau said: "Establishing a sense of self-discipline and focus when children are younger makes it much easier when they enter high school."

DISCIPLINE IS MORE ABOUT HELPING CHILDREN LEARN TO CONTROL THEIR OWN BEHAVIOR, AS OPPOSED TO SOMETHING OUTSIDE THEMSELVES CONTROLLING THEM.

The word discipline comes from the Latin disciplina, which means "instruction given, teaching, learning, knowledge". Our task, as parents, is to teach our children the impact of their choices on their lives, and to teach them a self-discipline that will serve them throughout their lives!